sleepwalking

This past week was a hard one for me.  I was miserably sick.  I had some tough personal moments as well.  As I look back on where my mind went during one particular evening I’m still amazed at some of the thoughts I had.  I was in a state of shock.  I could hear the air rushing around my head.  And it was in that state that Carmex and a promise brought forth such strong emotions that sleep eluded me.  All night long my mind wouldn’t stop.  I thought about things that are so personal that I can’t type them here.  The feelings connected to them made sense.  But then I thought about laundry detergent and the smell of Gain fabric softener.  And what about House of Pies and The Black Lab?  And Zushi…I can’t live without Zushi.  And Paris and snuglets, and Allison.  Jack dogs and Jesse dogs.  Empty drawers and make-up.  And what about those tennis shoes?  Mike’s Hard Lemonade and a bottle of Champagne.  All of those things while silly and seemingly unimportant kept me awake.  Individually they might not be a big deal, but all together they were huge.  Significant.  And by keeping me awake they woke me up.  I needed that.