Things are happening on the homefront.
My wasband just realized that Sweet Tea and I are sleeping together. Literally. The fact that she sleeps at my apartment when the kids are also spending the night is something he is not happy about. He told me he didn’t want them to spend the night at my place if she was also going to be spending the night with me. I had no idea that he didn’t know this until today.
Almost as soon as the kids knew about me and Sweet Tea she was spending the night. Their dad went out of the country for a couple of weeks and we all stayed together almost every night. That was 2 months ago. How he didn’t know until today that we were sleeping together is beyond me.
Sweet Tea and I aren’t officially living together under one roof yet, but for all intents and purposes we are living together. We have a house and an apartment between us. We spend more time at the apartment because it’s closer to my kids’ dad. It’s just easier to shuffle kids around from the apartment. Soon though we will be living together. We both have lease agreements to fulfill, but as soon as those contracts are up we are moving in together. That is the plan. I have no intentions of thwarting those plans just because someone is uncomfortable with the idea of the kids living under the same roof as lesbians.
I have thought long and hard about my wasband’s words today. I am sorry that he doesn’t like it, but that doesn’t mean I am going to do things differently. I love Sweet Tea. She loves me. I am not parading an endless line of women through the apartment. I am not engaging in any sexual or indecent acts in front of the kids. I wouldn’t do any of those things. What I am doing is showing my kids that I am the same person I was before. I am living my life in front of them. I am loving and serving them as well as loving and serving Sweet Tea and her daughter. I am making sure needs are met and that people are cared for. That is who I am. That is who I will be.
I will not be bullied into giving up Sweet Tea in order to make everyone else happy. I will not give up my kids just to make sure my wasband, sister, or other family members are comfortable with the way they are being raised. I don’t like confrontation, but I am not afraid to do it. I don’t like fighting, but I will not be walked all over. I AM stubborn. Very stubborn. And I will stand my ground.
When the kids are with my wasband he can tell them what to believe and what to think about me and who I am. When they are with me, and they will be with me, I will allow them to decide what to believe and what to think. I am not going to let them be disrespectful or unkind to others. I will continue to love them and meet their needs. And when they turn 18 they can make their own decisions about it all.
My hope and prayer is that my kids will always want me in their lives. Based on what I’ve seen and what I know I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t.
Midlife Natalie 