Lately I’ve looked to the future quite a bit. I’m not wishing today away at all, but ever since Sweet Tea and I parted ways, I’ve been thinking about what happens next. I have absolutely no desire to date anyone anytime soon. I feel like my kids and I need a break from having other people in our lives to that extent. I knew the kids were somewhat stressed over the whole situation, but I didn’t realize how much so. Again…nothing against Sweet Tea or her daughter, but for some reason my kids were tense. I guess any family dynamics change will stress kids out, and when we all moved in together, things definitely changed. Since the big move out, my kids seem to be breathing easier and settling in to this place. I’m so glad. I only have a few short years left with them at home, and I want those years to be as stress free as I can make them. If someone comes along during the next few years, I might date them, but we will not take steps to live together. I’m not doing that again for a good long while!
Another thing I’ve thought about is where I want to live. I love my house, but I am not crazy about the neighborhood. The cops show up every once in a while to check out the house across the street. They’ve visited with the house next door and another house a few doors down. I can live here for a long time and be comfortable, but I would really love a little more privacy and a little more land. I say that and then think about taking care of that land and my lack of time for the little bit I do have, and then I wonder if a garden home would be a better option. I think about the fact that I have 4 kids, one of which is about to be 21, and I think about the possibility that she’ll have a child of her own before I know it. This house is big enough for her future family to come visit and stay awhile without anyone being cramped. Right now, I love that we can spread out here and not realize that there are 5 of us in the house. But I wonder if a smaller home would be more cozy and promote more family time. Who knows what I will do? I’m sure I’ll keep this place for the next 4 years at least since my kids are still in high school. But come June 2017, all my kids will be out of school. What??? How is that even possible??? But it is, and who knows where I’ll go then.
I’ve also thought through some financial planning. I am currently paying off a couple of bills, but I am looking at saving money and planning for retirement. I won’t be able to retire until age 62 or 65 so I still have a good 18-21 years, but I want to be somewhat comfortable when I do retire. I want to be able to visit my kids and travel without having to worry so much about money. I might need to work longer than 65, but I hope not. Good financial planning now will help with that later.
I also wonder what to do with my hair. I know that seems silly, but I’ve definitely started to gray quite a bit. I’ve been coloring it for the past 8 years. I kept it my original color for a long time, but then I went blonder because the gray showed up less when it started to grow out. I miss the dark though, and it now seems that the gray is darker than the blonde. Also my hair is super curly. I guess the gray hairs were curly, and I know that hair can change with hormones. I am 44 now so I’m guessing that something hormonal happened. On humid days I don’t straighten it anymore. It’s too much work for what ends up being a ball of frizz on my head. If the weather is nice I can straighten it, and it stays that way. So all of that to say this…in the future I might chop off all the blonde and just go with the dark and gray. And the curls. I can’t forget the curls!
I’m gonna hit publish. I’m so tired that my eyes are crossing, but I know I have more to say!! NIghty night!