I read an article today about things that people regret on their deathbeds. Things they wish they had done differently. Many people said they wished they hadn’t worked so much and missed out on time with family, and others said they wished they’d stayed in touch with old friends. People regretted not allowing themselves to be happy and not not having the courage to express their feelings. The number one regret was that people wished they had lived their lives authentically. Being who they were and not who someone else thought they should be. It caused me to think about my own life and how I would feel if I knew I was dying tomorrow. What would my regrets be? I don’t think I’ve worked too hard, and I don’t really regret not keeping up with old friends. I do miss some of them, but I don’t think many of them would be accepting of who I am today so I am quite content with the good memories. I’m almost always happy, and if I truly feel something, most of the time I don’t have a problem sharing that. But what about that number one regret? Living authentically. I am currently living my authentic life so no worries there, but would I wish that I had come out sooner and had more time to be the real me? I don’t think so. I have no regrets about getting married and having 4 beautiful children. I couldn’t have picked a better man to be the father of my children and to share 19 years of marriage with. I don’t regret getting to stay at home with my kids when they were younger and being that soccer mom. I don’t regret it because I was truly blessed. I love that we lived overseas for almost 7 years and that my kids got to experience life outside of the states. It helped me see the world differently. I don’t regret that. I don’t regret my years in the Baptist church. Even though I don’t agree with everything they believe, I think they taught me much about loving others and trusting God. Of course there are those who don’t do a very good job of loving in the church, but almost every experience I ever had was a positive one. I don’t regret deciding to come out and while I hate the pain it caused so many people, I knew it was something I had to do. There are things I wish I hadn’t done along the way, but they aren’t important enough to be considered deathbed regrets.
So if I die tomorrow, I don’t think I would die with any regrets other than regretting that I didn’t have more years on the earth to be with those I love.