This is most definitely a blah day! So many things have gotten to me today.
- The violence against people in this country! I am horrified over the events of the last week. I have been frustrated over it all, but for some reason this week got to me. I haven’t watched any of the videos of the men being shot or the aftermath of them being shot. I didn’t need to. They were shot! That’s what is crazy. They weren’t having a shootout with the police. They were shot. I wasn’t horrified over Sandra Bland. I took my cue on how to feel then from my black coworkers in Prairie View/Waller where the Sandra Bland event happened. I took my cue from a friend who is black police officer from the area. They all felt for Sandra and her family, but they didn’t believe that it was a case of police brutality. They didn’t speak up on social media about the racial unfairness of it all. But this is different. This is scary for my friends. They are all talking and that makes me stand up and take notice and accept responsibility for my whiteness. And then the snipers in Dallas shooting at police. OMG people, get yourselves together. It makes me want to run away to a deserted island which is the exact wrong thing to do.
- FACEBOOK! I mostly hate it. I love being able to catch up with people, but I absolutely hate everything on it that blames Obama, Bush, Trump, Clinton, Cheney for the wrong in this country. And so many stupid people sharing these ideas. I just read one that said, “Someone kill this waste of fucking flesh. He’s breathing in American air. He doesn’t deserve that right. #fuckObama #fuckliberals #fuckisis #fuckHillary.” Come on people! We need to stand together! #thatdesertedislandlooksevenbetternow!
- The results of the state assessment STAAR test came in and my kids did terrible! And I feel terrible! I wasn’t given exact numbers on any group other than my own, but I was told that only 57% of my third graders passed the reading test. I was told that the other schools in the district all passed with 80% or more. The 4th and 5th graders at my school had a higher passing rate as well. I can’t actually look at the scores since I’ve resigned from the district and have been removed from the system so I don’t know if all those numbers are accurate. I just hate that I left with a crap year on my record. It won’t affect my new job, but I KNOW that it was a bad year. It was my hardest year and I was overwhelmed so much of the time. I felt like I was being picked on which was so different from how I had been treated the previous 5 years. I can’t decide if I my teaching got worse so the scores were low because of all that was going on in 3rd grade or if their treatment of me was justified. I didn’t want to teach 3rd grade and had been begging for a Kindergarten position since the year before so I wonder if I subconsciously sabotaged myself. I’ll never know. (I am thankful for my new job teaching kindergarten in another district so all I can do is move forward and embrace new beginnings…but UGH!) #desertedislandsdontneedschools!
- Candied Jansen’s job is on the line again. This is the third round of layoffs at her place of employment since we started dating in Feb. of 2014. She made it through the first two rounds with flying colors, but this one feels different somehow. The way they are going about it is different this time around so we are both feeling the fear of the unknown. We really need oil and gas prices to go up! #noneedformoneyorjobsonadesertedisland
- I haven’t had a Diet Coke in a whole day and I have a slight headache. While that’s not a huge big deal in the grand scheme of life, I really want one! Alas, we have none in the house and I’m trying to quit/cut back. Sigh. #desertedislandsdonthavedietcoke #buttheyalsodonthavestupidpeoplesoitsworthit
The fact that I cried about these things today doesn’t help the lack of caffeine headache I have. Sigh.