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friends

I heard a song this week that made me think.  Tim McGraw’s song Southern Voice has the line, “Come on in. I’m sure glad to know ya.” in it.  For some reason I really heard that line.  My grandmother used to say that.  I like it.  When compared to, “It’s nice to meet you.” it sounds warmer.  Friendlier.  More intimate.  I guess it wouldn’t be an appropriate thing to say to everyone you meet for the first time, but I think there are times when those words might be exactly what someone needs to hear.  They communicate a willingness to get to know someone.  

I think we all have a desire to be known and loved.  Sometimes that desire is buried deep.  We’ve been known and hurt by those close to us so we hide ourselves from people.  We try to protect ourselves by not letting people see us.  We are scarred and scared.  Every time we open up to someone we are putting ourselves at risk of being hurt again.  And we will be hurt again.  People are people.  They will do stuff that hurts us.  Some of it will be intentional.  Most of it won’t be.  It’s the knowing when to trust someone and when to let them go that’s hard for me.  I tend to be an open book.  If you ask something I will tell you.  I don’t have a problem letting myself be known for the most part.  Sure there are some things that I am tight-lipped about, but mostly I don’t mind letting people get to know me.  

Since leaving my husband and filing for divorce I’ve put almost all the people who really know me aside.  I don’t plan to never talk to them again, but I’m not ready to hear what some of them might say.  It feels strange…this lack of friends.  

I do have Fleur de lis.  And thank goodness I have her.  She’s been amazing during it all.  And oh so very patient with me.  Thank goodness.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post.  It’s just stuff that I’ve been thinking.  And for some reason there are tears in my eyes over it all.  And just in case you were wondering this post isn’t about anyone in particular.  It wasn’t because of any event.  I just heard a song that made me think.

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6 responses »

  1. Taking a step back until you find the “new” place for those people in your life is exactly what I’d do.

    When I got divorced 12 years ago, I knew I was going to lose some people that I felt were very important to me at the time. It was one of the reasons it took me over a year to actually go through with it.

    But looking back, you know, I didn’t stay friend-less for long. I made new, amazing friends. Friends that accepted me for who I WAS, not who they wanted me to be.

    And you have us… your online community. We’re here, always.

    Reply
  2. Dre is a hard act to follow because she said it best and know whereof she speaks. 🙂

    It’s hard, but you’ll find your way, and it sounds like you have a loving guide to help you get there.

    Reply
  3. Thanks guys!

    And Erica…you totally cracked me up! Thanks for reading!

    Reply
  4. I find it amazing that you and I are going through a whole different situation and yet some things are so similar.

    I had to leave my family behind so I could move on with my life… I lived in a community where I knew so many people and I knew so many more in surrounding towns and villages. But when I left they judged me (most of them were “church friends”) without finding out the facts. So now I live in a city where I do know quite a few people but only a few talk to me any more.

    It’s not that I want those kinds of friends back because, really, what kinds of friends are they, in the end? But it’s strange not having friends or family to hang out with, or people that just care about me. I’ve never been in this situation before and I’m finding it hard to make new friends.

    I guess my point was (is?) that I can relate. 😉

    Reply
  5. i think almost everyone goes thru something similar to this during their life. it’s hard. no doubt about it.
    it shows us who our true friends are and it opens the door for new friends to make their way inside. friends who love you for YOU.

    Reply

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