a letter

Dear Waco IHOP customers who happened to be eating at this fine establishment at 12:30 am on Wednesday night,

I want to formally apologize for the noise that came from that table.  You know the one.  There was a mom and her 4 kids…although now that I think about it the mom looked way too young and amazing to have 4 kids over the age of 10….but I digress.  That was us.  Those were my kids who hadn’t seen their mom, aka me, in 13 days.  We had just been reunited moments before we walked into IHOP.  The noise/loud hum you heard was them telling me every detail of their trip all at the same time.  It was quite the spectacle I’m sure.  If you were lucky enough to have been seated near us you might have heard snippets of conversation such as

“and then I peed in my pants.”

“because my neck muscles were sore from making faces…”

“we were so close that we got dirt in our teeth.”

“and then I buried him.”

“in a trailer behind the house…”

“she rescued me and then he kept knocking on the window.”

and the ever popular and far overused

“I need a big boy cup!”

All in all they had a good time as I’m sure was evidenced by the sheer number of giggles and guffaws you heard from our table.   I hope you were able to enjoy your food despite our very loud presence.  I can guarantee you that we won’t be visiting that particular IHOP again any time soon seeing as we don’t live in Waco.  You can be assured that the next time you get a hankering to eat pancakes and chicken fried steak in your pajamas you won’t have to worry about meeting us there.

Thank you for your patience.

And you’re welcome.

Natalie