The past couple of days have been blah. And now I’m gonna blog about it which won’t make me feel better at all.
Yesterday we had a party for my youngest. She’s stubborn and hard and fussy. She has never been an easy-going child, but we love her anyway. Someday her strong-willed personality will serve her well I’m sure. But yesterday was not one of those days. She wanted a bounce house for her birthday. She didn’t want to invite anyone except her best friend. I made her invite all her cousins for a couple of hours just so that it was more party like. She had fun and seemed to be glad they were there. Until she wasn’t. She cried because the little kids were following her everywhere. She cried because she didn’t get any alone time with her best friend. I could understand her being upset if those things were true, but they aren’t. She did have cousins around for more than a couple of hours, but she had time to play in the bounce house before they arrived and for a short while after they left. Ross, my wasband, finally asked me to take her to my place. He had had it. He said that she had no room in her life for others and that she was the most selfish person he had ever seen next to… He didn’t finish his statement. I asked if he was going to say me, and he just chuckled. I wanted to cry. I did get a little teary. I know he thinks that I made a selfish decision, but I am not a selfish person. I had been in a good mood, enjoying hanging out with the family, and I hated that he ruined it. I went to bed feeling blah.
I got in my car this morning and started her up. There was an awful metallic sound then the car stalled. I waited a minute and started the car again. Sound not quite as bad but still there so I turned the car off. I decided to do a little inspecting under the hood. Now I know absolutely nothing about cars, but I figured I could at least look to see if I could spot the problem. At first glance nothing seemed to be amiss. Then I saw what looked like the handle of a tool on top of the battery. There was a metal wire attached to it. It didn’t look like it belonged there so I picked it up. And out came this.
Except it looked more like this one.
I’m guessing it was left in my car by the last guy who worked on it. I’m just thankful that it didn’t break anything.
After I determined that my car was ok to drive I went to Office Depot. I purchased a few things and attempted to pay for them with a Visa gift card that my parents gave me for my birthday last week. I had already spent $48 of the $100 gift card. I knew this because I wrapped the receipt around it as a reminder about how much was left on the card. For some strange reason the card was declined. When I got to my car I called to check my balance and it was $0. I’m not sure if someone stole the card number or what, but it made me sad.
Tomorrow begins the first full week back at school. A full day of meetings and then maybe an hour of working in my classroom.
And because I’m feeling all blah I’m going to bed.
For a better read and a lighter subject here’s a conversation that happened in our house.
Jacob: Mom, what are we having for breakfast.
Me: How about cereal? Have you ever had that before?
Jacob: No, what is it?
Me: Let me show you.
At this point I proceeded to open the cabinet where the cereal is kept and tell him about the different kinds of cereal to be had. I walked away as he got his bowl and spoon and began pouring himself a bowl of cereal. A few minutes later this is how the conversation ended.
Me: Jacob, what are you doing? (asked because he was carrying his bowl of cereal into the living room)
Jacob: Trying that stuff you called cereal. (said in somewhat of an exasperated tone)
I laughed and let him eat in the living room…at the table of course!
No matter how hard we try, it’s hard to always hide resentment of that which we can never fully comprehend. Time makes it better, but that old twinge surfaces from time to time. I think it’s more built in to our psyches than anything. When we lose intimacy with one with who we shared so much, the pain can run far deeper than we even realize ourselves. Even when the split is the best choice in the long run.
When the classes are peopled with little people, the blahs will lessen.
those debit gift cards are pieces of crap. we have problems all the time with customers trying to use them in B&N. some of them say in the fine print that you have to spend the entire amount in one purchase or you forfeit the remaining balance on the card.