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The closet door is open

I have a girlfriend.  And now my kids know, my wasband knows, and I’m pretty sure the rest of my family knows as well.  I told the kids and wasband, but I’m not sure how everyone else found out.

What I do know is that my dad was talking to me about weekend plans the other day and now he has canceled those plans and says he’ll talk to me in a few days.  When I asked if everything was ok, all he said was that he didn’t want to talk now, but that he’d call in a few days.  I feel bad.  I feel bad, because when I talked to him the other day he asked questions and said things that I had to skirt around the answers to, because I hadn’t yet told my kids.  I needed to tell my wasband.  I felt that they had the right to know first.  I told them a couple of days later.  I have been planning what I would say to my parents and dreading the whole idea of it.  I hate being a disappointment.  Hate it.  And now I’m a disappointment and a liar.

I do wonder how my parents found out.  I asked my kids if they had talked to them.  They said no.  I know my wasband didn’t tell them.  He told me that I needed to hurry up and tell them, because the other day he and my dad saw each other and he was asked about me.  I think he felt cornered, because he didn’t know what to say.

Both of my brothers have been by my place when when Sweet Tea has been here so maybe they wondered aloud.  She was introduced as my friend, and absolutely nothing inappropriate was done in the presence of either of them or their kids.  I was babysitting for a niece and nephew last Friday, and Sweet Tea came over for dinner.  She had just lost her mother, and I didn’t want her to be alone.  She left after we ate and came back not long before the kids were picked up.  Maybe that bothered my brother.

It’s possible my sister read it here on this blog.  She’s visited before.  I knew she might come back someday.  When I wrote it I thought about that, but I figured I would write it still.

It’s also possible that my dad found this place on his own.  I get hits all the time from people searching for me.  Usually they search “midlife natalie” which isn’t something my dad would probably know about, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t discover me on his own.

So now I am waiting a few days until he is ready to talk to me.


3 responses »

  1. It will be okay. Praying for you.

  2. My dear….there is power and new life in the fact that you are FREE. Free to be whomever you want to be and with whomever you choose to be with. Take solace in that. The family will fall in line when they realize that this is who you have always been, and that nothing has really changed.


  3. I am the mother to a mid life daughter.
    She was raised to follow her Bliss, not mine or my interpretation of Bliss.
    Being Free makes a mothers child happy,thus making a mother happy.
    Wishing you fulfillment a la mode with your freedom
    Mom and Dad still love you
    always have.
    always will
    A deep hug for you
    Heathers mom


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