Today, as I was packing up my house to move, I came across some candy in my pantry. It was in the bowl where I keep chocolate chips, chopped nuts, and various other cookie/sweet making ingredients. These candies were not there to be used to make sweets though. I was saving them. You see, I got those candies in 2008 when I visited France. If you’ve read my story, you know that I was madly in love with a friend who lived in France. My husband and I had gone to visit her and her husband, and while we were there, her husband gave me these candies. He remembered her saying that I had loved them when she sent them to me in a care package once so he thought he’d be sweet and buy some for me again. Of course, I felt terribly guilty because I was having an affair with his wife. At the end of the week long visit, I brought the candy back to Turkey with me, and then my friend and I broke off the affair and went our separate ways. I grieved the loss of the friendship and dealt with the shame of cheating on my husband. When we moved back to the states and through my divorce, I carried those candies with me. They became a sacred thing to me, and I couldn’t bear to eat them very often. Every once in a while I’d allow myself to have one as a memory trigger. Even though my friend’s husband had technically been the one to buy them for me, those candies reminded me of her. Eating one every once in a while was a way to keep the idea of her alive. Eventually, I was down to my last three candies and I stopped eating them. Running out of them was not an option…that meant that it was over somehow. I couldn’t even fathom our story being over. Today, when I saw those last three chocolates, I smiled at myself. I hadn’t even remembered those chocolates being in my pantry. I took a picture of them and texted it to Candied Jansen because I knew it was a good story to tell. And then, I threw those last three chocolates in the trash. My story with my friend has long been over, and by throwing them out, it was like I had written in all caps, THE END.
It was a great story and one that I will always remember fondly, BUT I’m currently in the middle of another story. One that has me moving in with Candied Jansen in less than a week! This one comes with rings and adventures and forever. This is so much better!!
Midlife Natalie 