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Liars, cheats, and the perfect relationship

Back in January, Candied Jansen and her ex-husband went to a Texans playoff game.  Despite the high energy of the crowd, the Texans lost that game to the Kansas City Chiefs.  I’m not here to talk about the game though, but rather something that happened during the game.

Candied Jansen said the group of 4 seats next to her was open for quite a while.  Later a “cute, Lesbian looking girl” came and sat down in those seats.  She kept getting up and having to scoot past Candied Jansen and her ex to the point that she offered to buy them a drink for all their trouble.  At one point, she looked at them and said, “Do I look like a lesbian?”  Candied Jansen said, “Well, I am a lesbian.” and her ex said, “You look cute.” The poor girl worried that she had offended Candied Jansen and apologized for the lesbian comment.  She said she was just trying to look cute, but her brother told her she looked like a lesbian.  Candied Jansen said well we both think you look cute and I am a lesbian so you’re doing great!  The girl wondered what kind of relationship Candied Jansen and her ex had and they explained they were exes which fascinated her.  She was impressed that they could go to a game together and be friendly.  When Candied Jansen told me this story I giggled.  I imagined how confused the poor girl must have been.

It made me think about my relationship with Candied Jansen.  I trust her completely.  She was with her ex-husband, but I was never worried that anything would happen between them.  She has been doing some training bike rides with him the last several weeks and plans to do them for the next couple of months.  I am not worried about that at all.  I know she would never cheat on me.  And she knows the same about me.  She says that’s one of the things she loves about me.  My character.

I have cheated on one person in my life.  My ex-husband.  When I cheated on him, it felt like a necessary thing.  I needed to find out if what I was feeling for a girl was more than just curiosity.  I knew I was in love with her, but how would I feel being intimately involved with her?  I felt what I feared I would feel.  That finally feeling.  I’ve told that story on this blog before so it’s not necessary to go into it again.

I was accused of cheating by both of my ex-girlfriends.  I guess because I wasn’t interested in them anymore sexually, they thought there had to be someone else.  I guess because they knew I had cheated on my husband they assumed I would cheat on them as well.  Nope…it never happened.  I never cheated on either of them.  I knew the relationships were over or on their way out and for me that meant the sex was over.  I never had any desire to cheat on them.  The truth is that it’s not in my character to cheat.  I won’t do it.  Sex is too important to me to be flippant about it.  I’ve never had one night stands or any friends with benefits.  I don’t judge those who have, but I just couldn’t do it.

Speaking of relationships…I got married yesterday!  (I know…that was so yesterday’s blog post, but I am still giddy with excitement over it!)  I love that Candied Jansen and I have both been through some tough relationships with females.  I love that we both knew when we fell in love with each other that this relationship was the right one.  We knew we weren’t the right one for those other girls and that they weren’t the right ones for us.  We got out instead of trying to force something to work that wasn’t right.  And now, partly because of those other relationships we’ve been through, we are perfect for each other.  It’s a beautiful thing!




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