Back in 2007 I wrote these words on my once-upon-a-time blog.
Words excite me. What words mean and how we use them to get our point across is thrilling to me. The way the right combination of words makes me feel is something I have trouble putting into my own words. I am often at a loss for words. I know this may seem surprising to those of you who’ve heard my unending vomit of the mouth at times…but it’s true. When I’m in that state I feel completely unable to use my brain to form sentences that make sense….like someone has opened my head and is stirring my thoughts with a long-handled spoon…making them go round and round, mixing them up, until you can’t distinguish one from another. That feeling is overwhelming…a word I use a lot. I could say overpowering or mind-boggling, but I like overwhelming. It engulfs me…ooooh…I like that word, too!
I’ve felt that same way a lot lately. I used to blog daily…sometimes more than once. At times the blogging slowed down to a couple of times a week, but for the past few years, I’ve barely blogged at all. I used to need to blog. It was something I had to do to survive. I don’t feel that way anymore. I can survive without it. But I do love when I can come here and the words flow. So many times I think about the emotions wrapped up in a story I want to tell, but by the time I can finally sit down at the computer, my words no longer sound pretty. What once seemed poetic now seems Tarzan-ish. I stare at the computer and then I get so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open. The words stop being important and the story doesn’t get told.
Candied Jansen fell in love with my words through the letters we exchanged way back in 2011. When we started dating in 2014, she loved that I wrote on a blog. I hate that I have gotten away from regular writing because I know she misses it. I hope to remedy that this year. My goal is at least 1 post a week.
I started this post on Friday which was still in the first week of January. I finally finished it last night…a day late to post it the first week, but I didn’t hit publish because my eyes were crossing and I wanted to proofread it when I wasn’t so tired!!
So sad!! Half of this short post was copied and pasted from a post written several years ago and I still didn’t make my goal!
Midlife Natalie 