In my last post I mentioned my sister. I decided that it was only fair to her to give you her reasons for the choice she made. It wasn’t an easy decision. It wasn’t a decision based on her feelings about me. She wasn’t disgusted with the thought of me being with another woman. Her decision was based solely on what she, as a christian, felt like the Bible was instructing her to do. Here is the passage she used to explain it to me.
1 Corinthians 5:9-13
9 When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer[j] yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.
12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. 13 God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”
Being gay is a sexual sin according to the Bible. I am a believer. I truly believe that my sister would put a drunkard or a abusive person in the same category as a homosexual. She doesn’t consider the sin more offensive. What is offensive to her is the fact that I’ve heard the truth of the Bible. I’ve believed that truth. I’ve even gone out and told others about it. And now I am willingly choosing to go against what I’ve known to be true.
I don’t want people to think that my sister is a mean and hateful person. She isn’t at all. She has convictions. She lives by them. I also don’t want to hear the age old argument about the Bible mentioning foods you are supposed to avoid or stoning people for their sins. I absolutely hate when people use these Old Testament passages to try to plead their case. I don’t feel like getting into a theological argument…just know that I’ve heard it all before. Those arguments don’t hold water when used alongside the New Testament scriptures.
So I’m sure you wonder how I could choose this. And I did choose. When I made the choice to act on the feelings I was having all those many months ago something happened in me. It counted. It mattered. It was as natural as breathing to me. Despite all that I came away from that experience in a fog. As the fog lifted I knew that I couldn’t go back. I made my choice. I am going forward. And while I cannot reconcile my decision and my faith I still believe. I have to. I’ve experienced both. And to deny either one is impossible for me.
Yes, your sister has convictions. So did Pat Robertson when he said the people of Haiti are suffering because of their pact with the devil. Theological arguments aside, the question for me is always to decide what the compassionate course of action is. Shunning your sister for her sexual orientation is not compassionate, not loving, definitely not Christ-like. I hope in time her faith, and yours, can broaden to include the sizable minority of gay people in this world.
Just found your blog. You are an inspiration. Truly.
But that’s just it; it’s not a choice. It’s who you are. God does not love anyone any less than any other. One chooses to sin, one does not choose who they are.