Most days I’m busy enough to not think about it. Most days. This morning though I woke up at 6:30. I had slept long enough, but because I’m out of town and in a strange bed I stayed in bed. I didn’t want to disturb the others who were still asleep. I eventually fell back asleep and that’s when the dreams came. I always dream if I let myself go back to sleep, and most of the time I wake up disturbed. This morning was no different.
I haven’t heard from my dad since September 22. I sent him a text message 5 days ago telling him I was thinking about him and that I loved him. He never responded. So it’s been 17 days since he said he would talk to me in a few days. The days keep passing with no word from him. I am cognizant of that at all times, but when I’m busy that awareness is just there buried under the rest of my life. But this morning it bubbled up. And I dreamed it all different kinds of ways. All bad.
I’m still out of town. A fun day is planned. I need to get myself together.