Yesterday, Candied Jansen’s mom called several times asking a questions about our preferences for a honeymoon. We started referring to her as the wedding planner which made me smile. I absolutely love that Candied Jansen has a family that has been so welcoming to me. My own family is not supportive of my relationship with Candied Jansen or the fact that I am gay. They have vacillated from not having anything to do with me to including me in family events. The current status is talking on the phone about once a month and texting if necessary, but not necessarily fostering a relationship. I get it. I’m ok with their choices most of the time. But it has made me even more thankful for Candied Jansen’s family. While I’m sure it wouldn’t be their first choice…her being gay…they have been ok with it, and they have embraced me. I am so thankful for that. I’ve stayed overnight at their place on the way out of town. I’ve spent Christmas with them and even received gifts. I have been truly made to feel a part of their family. And now they are gifting us a honeymoon. That almost brings me to tears.
Neither of the last two girls I dated had family they associated with other than their own children. Parents and siblings had either passed away or had abandoned them or they them some time before we started dating. The few interactions I knew of were quite hostile. As far as extended family – aunts, uncles, cousins – went, I’d heard about some of them, but they never actually visited them while we were dating so I had no relationship with anyone other than the girlfriend. It was so odd to me that there were family members out there that they had no desire to have a relationship with…brothers and sisters who were so distant that addresses and working phone numbers weren’t known. It seemed so strange, but I didn’t really question why. It just was what it was.
I can see know how easy it is to lose track of people. My own siblings are my Facebook friends, but we have very little in the way of a relationship at this point in my life. We do comment on Facebook posts and text occasionally, but I only see them at holidays which is a shame considering we live in the same area. They share more life with each other than they do me, but I don’t blame that entirely on me being gay. I lived in another country for 7 years which put a bit of distance between us. Moving back and coming out just added to the distance that was already there. I hope and pray that my family never loses track of each other. Thankfully social media is around to help keep everyone in the loop somewhat.
I love this relationship I’m in. I love Candied Jansen. I hope that one day my family will embrace her the way hers has me.
Midlife Natalie 