Connecting

It’s summer, and I think I will have time to write.  I think I want to write.  It’s hard to tell, honestly.  I’m not as good as I used to be at putting my thoughts into words.  But, I read something this morning that I can relate to, and it made me think.

It’s ironic that somehow busyness has become a status symbol of self importance. What it really does is dramatically lower consciousness due to high amounts of external stimuli the brain has to process. Even the most conscious aware are perceiving only a tiny amount of incoming data at any given time. When we slow down it allows greater conscious awareness in order to better process data and allow for choice. High stimulus creates high stress due to over stimulation of the central nervous system. That signals the brain to operate on autopilot where it requires no consciousness. What this means is that all thinking, feeling and doing is reactionary. It’s repeating all your habits unknowingly, which unconsciously recreates the same shit different day type of reality. It also feeds numbing, aka wine, weed, food, digital media, tv, etc. to take down the noise and calm the system by a taking the edge off. It’s a vicious cycle that self perpetuates creating neuro chemical dependence on the numbing agent(s) which ironically creates more anxiety and stress. Despite the illogic, studies show that doing less creates much greater creativity and productivity, clearer thinking, increased intuition and wellbeing. Most truths are illogical to the monkey mind. ❤️G

It was posted on facebook by a person named Genele Edey.  Here is the link to her facebook page where you can find this post.

It made me think.  Candied Jansen has recently said that I am not a person that goes deep or shares my feelings anymore.  That when we first started dating, I was much better at being in the moment than I am now.  I agree with her.  I’ve gotten comfortable with the mundane.  I think it’s because I’m on autopilot.  I don’t slow down when I am at work and when I come home, I stay busy doing stuff around the house.  All of that causes missed connections with my wife.  I hate that!

Candied Jansen had plans for things she wanted us to do over spring break and mentioned them several times over the weeks leading up to the break, but when spring break arrived, we didn’t do anything.  During that week, I never initiated doing them and neither did she.  I honestly don’t remember what we did.  I think we just sat around and did nothing!  A couple of weeks later, I felt bad that the work didn’t get done so I went in the backyard several evenings in a row and weeded the flowerbeds which was a big item on the list.  My goal was to do something on the list, but I did it alone.  Her goal for the week had been for us to work together on things.  I misunderstood that, and we missed connecting and working together.  I hate that!

Now that it is summer, I want to do something about it.  I want to connect.  Stuff will still need to be done around the house, but I want us to do things together.  I get it now.  I need to share myself with my wife.  I need to go deep.  I want to!