Monthly Archives: November 2009

A couple of posts ago I said something about participating in the Great Interview Experiment. Well I finally got my act together and questioned my victim interviewee. FatBoyFat is from the Motherland, Great Britain, and his blog is Make Lard History. He enjoys long walks on the beach, dinner by candlelight, and…oh…wait…let me let him tell you about himself.

1. Ok…let’s start with the obvious question. Your screenname…Fatboyfat…and your blog title…Make Lard History give me the impression that this blog is all about your weight or your diet. I’ve read some of your early posts and while that seems to be your initial intention your blog isn’t about that anymore. If you were to give a description of your blog what would you say it’s about? Now that you’ve been blogging for a couple of years do you have any goals for your blog?

I realised fairly early on that repeated posts containing exercise regimes, recipes or simply pictures of my feet on the bathroom scales would be lacking in entertainment, so I broadened the remit of Make Lard History. So now it’s a rather random collection of writing exercises, observations, short stories, commentary and the occasional semi-lucid rant. The theme is ‘There Is No Theme’. I’m still not entirely sure if that’s a good idea, two years later.

It would be nice to have a goal, I suppose. I’ve never really thought about it much as I never really expected much from the process at the outset. I enjoy writing, and if other people are vaguely entertained by the end result, that’s a bonus.

2. You mentioned attending your brother’s civil ceremony in a post back in August of 2007. You also said something about attending Pride weekend in February 2008. I may be completely wrong, but I assume that your brother is gay and that you are fully supportive of him. As a newly somewhat out gay woman with no family support I would love to hear how you felt about it all. If it was a process for you or not. Also how does your country/city differ from America in the way the glbt community is treated?

I’m very lucky in that I was raised in a household that didn’t seem all that concerned about labels. I’m the youngest of three, and I guess I’ve known that brother no. 2 was gay since my early teens. You just pick up on things, so it’s been an integral part of him for as long as I can remember. So while I’m fully supportive it doesn’t change the way I think about him one iota. He’s the same person with whom I walked to school, shared a bedroom and played cricket in the garden. It’s just that he prefers men. It’s a characteristic – and clearly an important one for those involved – but I don’t have any hang-ups about it. It helps that he has good taste in men – his partner is a genuinely lovely bloke and a welcome addition to the family (although he does deserve early sainthood for putting up with my brother)!

Katie and I go to things like Pride partly because we have several gay and lesbian friends but also because it’s just such a good day out. There’s lots to do, it’s a bit of a giggle and there’s none of the bad atmosphere you sometimes get when alcohol and crowds are involved. We’ve been able to take other friends who’d never previously been exposed to the GLBT community and they really enjoyed themselves. It’s just a good day out with friends.

I said at the start of this answer that I was lucky. That’s because our early upbringing taught us that character was far more important as a measure of an individual than other factors like sexuality, skin colour or religion. And while I think British society has become far more accepting in recent years, there are still some pockets of intolerance. Not everyone had the same commonsense as my parents. There are some media outlets that don’t help – as an example I wrote about the Daily Mail and its readership twice in October this year.

An example: we’ve had legal civil partnerships in the UK for a few years now. The very people who bang on constantly about the sanctity of marriage, and about how important it is for people to commit to a formalised relationship, would willingly turn around to one sector of society and say “Not for you lot, though.” Ironic.

3. You talk about beer quite a bit on your blog. What is your favorite beer and what is it you like about it? Also…when you were in the states did you have a chance to try any of our beers? Did you like them?

Yes, I suppose beer’s been my downfall! Going out and socialising involves pubs, and pubs involve beer, I suppose. I can be a bit of a bore on the subject so I’ll keep it brief, though. I adore traditional English real ales, such as bitter, or at this time of year, porter. It’s thick, dark and comforting. When I visited the States I very much enjoyed Samuel Adams ales. Quite a bit, actually. Clearly I have no repressed bad feelings over the Revolution!

4. One of your recent post was a wonderful little short story about Travellers. You also wrote a story about Flant Day. Genius! Are there more? Have you ever had anything published? If not is that a goal of yours or are you writing them just for fun?

Thank you! I’ve written a number of short stories but for some reason I haven’t labelled them very well on the blog. I’ll go back and do that. I quite like the idea of starting with an unlikely situation and developing it from there. Or setting out from a familiar place and then twisting it. I’d quite like to have something published but there are so many good writers out there I’m under no illusions about it. It’s mainly for fun – and I get a huge kick if other people like what I write. If it gets published, that’s a bonus.

5. For the last 3 years you’ve participated in NaBloPoMo cranking out a post every day in the month of November. Every other month you seem to write less than half of that. How hard is it for you to come up with something to post everyday? Do you feel pressure or do the words come easy?

NaBloPoMo is quite a tough challenge for me – every year I say I’ll never do it and my wife tells me I’ll kick myself if I don’t. Or she will. I do struggle to post generally, as I want to put things up that I like and that other people might appreciate. This year has been harder than most as I lost my Dad at the end of December 2008 and, quite frankly, it knocked me sideways. I struggled to concentrate on anything, including the blog. Although Katie has been around to give me a kick. I know my place. I’d really like to try and do something every other day if I could, as long as I don’t resort to putting pictures of my cat on there.

6. I’ve been back in the states for a year now after living in Turkey for the previous seven years. One of the things I noticed while I lived overseas was that visiting Americans totally stood out. They were usually loud and somewhat obnoxious. Anytime we were going to have guests come visit we gave them a short cultural lesson so as not to offend the locals. What cultural lessons would you give to Americans coming to visit your country? Also are there any interesting non-touristy things you would suggest for them to do?

I have to say that most Americans I’ve met, in real life and online, have been delightful. I know, I’m such a flatterer. However I’m afraid some Brits can be lousy travellers too! But anyway, what could I say to someone from America travelling to Britain? We’re not all massively repressed these days, but please don’t be upset if a Brit doesn’t want to know your life story. You might think he’s not being very warm, receptive or friendly. But that’s really not the case. If ‘avoiding a fuss’ was an Olympic sport, we’d win gold medals any time. We even get nervous about people raising their voices in public places. But once you know that, it’s really quite easy to blend in, and if you set yourself up in a good pub (it’s always the beer for me!), perhaps in a small market town away from the tourist traps you can have a great night people-watching and listening to the banter. Not the same as the Changing of the Guards, but it’s certainly something different.

7. Any last words?

Thank you for these questions – I hope I haven’t bored your readers to death with my answers. I’ve been reading your blog as well and will be sending readers this way too!

Oodles of thanks to FatBoyFat for fabulous answers to my deep and probing questions!

Oh…and if you are so inclined you can go check out the answers I came up with for my interview over Lindsey’s blog, I Digress:  Tales From A Baby Starved Wingnut!

Yeah…I cooked.  Cornbread dressing with gravy, sweet potatoes with brown sugar and pecans, and deviled eggs.  Fleur de lis made the ham and cranberry sauce.  The rolls were store bought.  Yes, I see that there are no green vegetables on the table.  I love green veggies, but today I didn’t miss them.   For me it was all about the cornbread dressing.  Mmmm..mmmm.

Then I made pie.  Well two pies.  Chocolate and Coconut.  I could have used a tad bit more meringue, but they were still yummy!

(Pay no attention to the bottle of tequila in this shot.  The tequila had nothing to do with the pie!  It did have everything to do with the margaritas though.)

My tummy is full and so is my fridge.  Thanksgiving leftovers…ahhh.

Today I read this post over at Stacy’s Random Thoughts.  It’s one of those stories that’s been circulating the internet for several years.  It’s always funny though.  Always.  Reading it reminded me of the squatty potties I became so proficient at using in Turkey.  For those of you who haven’t ever seen a squatty…

Here you are.  A somewhat clean squatty…because you don’t want to see what a dirty one looks like!  You’re welcome.  

How to use: Stand on the foot treads and squat all the way down keeping your balance without holding on to anything or touching the nasty floor. At the same time you must hold on to the tissue that you brought with you since most squatty stalls don’t have any. If you are carrying a purse or have a jacket you must hold them as well since hooks are very few and far between.  If you are wearing pants you will want to roll them up a bit so that they don’t touch the floor which is always wet and could have actual running water flowing over it. To flush: Pour a small pitcher of water (located under the faucet that won’t turn off all the way…hence the wet floor… which is just outside of my picture near the stall door) in the toilet, or press a button on the wall making sure to stand at the extreme side of the stall so that your shoes don’t get wet with the spray coming from the two small holes at the back of the toilet. Fun times!

If you ever want to take a trip to a place with squatties I’ll gladly go with you.  I think everyone should try their hand at this extreme sport!  I’ll even hold your purse and coat for you although it will take away from the experience!

The holidays are approaching…hell, they are on my doorstep, and I’m not sure what to do with them this year.

Thanksgiving is next week and for the first time ever I won’t be with a large group of family or semi-family to celebrate.  When we lived in the states we spent Thanksgiving with my family or my husband’s family.  I don’t think there were ever less than 12 people at any of our gatherings.  When we lived overseas Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday.  We never had blood relatives in town, but there were people who we considered family there to celebrate with us.  The kids usually had school that day so we planned to eat after they got home.  The adults would gather in the morning and go bowling.  Usually there was a baby or two to pass around as well.  There might be a few toddlers that had to have a turn rolling the ball, but it was tradition.  After bowling we would head back to the house hosting that year to finish cooking.  Most years our house hosted.  We had room, and I wasn’t the type that panicked when the hordes came over.  In fact I loved having people over.  I looked through recipe books and magazines to see what interesting things I could add to the normal Thanksgiving day fare for weeks ahead of time.  Lots of people, lots of food, lots of fun.  Our group grew to be so large that we eventually had to divide into two houses for dinner.  After dinner one group would drive to the other’s place for dessert.  It was always a great time.  In 2006 I was in the states with family for Thanksgiving, and I really missed the celebration I knew I was missing in Turkey.  Last year I had been back in the states for 4 days when Thanksgiving rolled around.  Between my own jetlag and dealing with 4 kids with jetlag I really don’t even remember much about the holiday.  

This year…well…this year is different.  My kids will be with their dad at his parents’ house for Thanksgiving.  Since my siblings and their families were at my parents’ for Thanksgiving last year they will be with their spouses’ families this year.  My parents are going to be out of town for the holiday.  That leaves me.  What will I do?

I’ve been talking to Fleur de lis about all of it.  She doesn’t have any close relatives so her Thanksgiving celebrations haven’t been traditional.  Some years she worked, some years she celebrated with friends, and some years she ate bologna sandwiches sitting in front of her TV.  This year she is spending Thanksgiving with me.  We’ve talked about what we want to do about food.  She suggested bologna sandwiches which just about made me gag.  I can’t imagine Thanksgiving without turkey, cornbread dressing, deviled eggs, cranberry sauce, and homemade rolls.  But I can’t imagine cooking all of that for just the two of us either.

Yesterday I blogged, and I chatted for a bit on twitter.  I was amazed at how supportive everyone was.  I was amazed at how much I needed to blog and chat.  There’s something about the support of this crazy online community.  It was a nice feeling.  Thanks to everyone who commented here and on twitter.  I appreciate all of you more than you know.

I also signed up to participate in The Great Interview Experiment sponsored by Neil over at Citizen of the Month.  I participated last year and had a great time meeting new bloggers.  Go check him out and sign up for an interview if you are so inclined.  You never know who you might meet!

I’m alone.  I am sitting in my apartment all by myself.  Nobody is expecting me to be anywhere or do anything for them for the next six hours.  I have six hours of alone time.  Wow.  

I was thinking about the fact that I would have this unexpected alone time today.  One would think that my alone time would have multiplied since I moved out of my house.  Actually the opposite has happened.  I wake up alone most mornings.  I have about an hour by myself, but it is spent getting ready to go to work.  I don’t have time to just enjoy being alone.  After work I might go back to my apartment to change clothes, but it is just a quick in and out trip.  After changing clothes I go to the house to spend time with the kids.  When I lived there I could go to my room and close the door and be alone.  Since moving out I want to make sure that I’m spending time with them when I am there.  I cook dinner for them, watch TV with them, play games with them…whatever they want to do.  Sometimes I pick them up and bring them back to my place where I cook dinner for them, watch TV with them, play games with them…again…whatever they want to do.  They take turns spending the night at my apartment a few nights a week.  I don’t have enough beds for all 4 of them so they usually come in twos.  Sometimes I have a few minutes alone to get online or make a phone call when they are with me, either at their place or mine, but I am always with them.  That is what I choose to do.  When I am not with them or at work I spend time with Fleur de lis.  Sometimes she comes to my place and sometimes I go to hers.  We already don’t get to see each other nearly enough so any alone time I might have is completely reserved for her.  That is what I choose to do.  At the end of the day when I am finally back at my place and on the rare occasion that I am here alone all I want to do is sleep.   

Today circumstances were such that other than a quick trip to help get kids where they needed to be this morning and another one later this afternoon I have nothing.  A long extended period of nothing.  The kids are busy.  Fleur de lis is busy.  And I’m not.  

Wow.  I forgot what this felt like.

Remember these? These delectable chocolate covered marshmallow Santas? Ahhh…such good memories…


Then there was this. A heart. I loved it as well despite the chocolate to marshmallow ratio being slightly off.

And now…

I’ve discovered this. Standby while I take my first bite…ahhh…such a sweet familiar flavor. But…wait…I had no idea…the marshmallow is chocolate flavored, too. A chocolate marshmallow covered in chocolate? Yummo!

I love fall. I love the colors associated with it. I love the cooler weather as well. And I love the food. Last year we moved back to the states the Monday before Thanksgiving. By the time jetlag wore off we were in full Christmas mode. I missed fall. This year I was pleasantly surprised by all the fall foods in the grocery store. The variety of squash alone was enough to make me giddy. In Turkey we had zucchini. They weren’t exactly like the ones here in the states. They were a lighter green, but the flavor was the same. I liked them and cooked them often, but I missed other varieties.

The other day I bought these three varieties of squash. From left to right…CARNIVAL squash, DELICATA squash, and GOLDEN NUGGET squash. Yum! I cooked them all in the same night for a mini taste test. The kids took one bite, which I didn’t even capture on camera, and turned their noses up. Well everyone but Erica. She and I both thought they were delicious! They all tasted very similar. Slightly sweet and buttery…or maybe that was the butter I put on them. Either way…yum!

Oh my…so much has happened since my last post here.  I’m not sure where I should even start.  

I guess I can start with the move.  I moved out.  I signed a lease on a 2 bedroom apartment about a mile from the house and moved.  I’ve been in my new place for 2 weeks now.  I can’t believe it.  It is so quiet here.  The first night my youngest slept over she complained about the lack of noise.  She was used to hearing hamster wheels, the washing machine or dryer, a tv…all background noise to her falling asleep.  I didn’t even have a tv, had only worn a couple days of clothes so I had no need to do laundry, and own no pets.  I finally hooked my ipod up to the speakers and turned some music on for her.  That seemed to do the trick.  When my oldest son spent the night he complained of the same thing the next morning at breakfast.  I thought it was funny that the lack of noise bothered them.  

I have spent so much money in the last 2 weeks.  I haven’t made many big purchases…a bed and a TV (totally for the kids), but there have been so many little things that have added up.  Drinking glasses, a vacuum cleaner, several trash cans, towels, shower curtains, a can opener, and various other small items.  Every time I go to Walmart I walk away with a $150 worth of merchandise.  I also signed up for cable and internet.  I wasn’t able to get online from the apartment so I was checking my email at work.  That was ok, but I wasn’t crazy about it.  I could have lived without the TV and cable, but I knew the kids would do better with it.  I want them to want to come to my house.  I know that an empty apartment isn’t much of a draw.  They are all beyond the age of toys, and the room they are sharing currently has a blow up mattress and a twin rollaway bed in it.  Not much for 4 kids ages 10 and up.  Having the TV and a donated Playstation 2 will help tremendously!  

The other day the kids were all there while we waited on the cable guy.  For fun they dumped the halloween candy out of the bowl I had put it in and spent the next 30 minutes trying to “make baskets” by tossing it all back in.  They also chased each other around the loop that runs through the living room, hallway, bathroom, bedroom and dining area.  There were smack down wrestling matches and finally a mom instigated card game of war.  And I hate that game.  At that point I was willing to do anything to get them to sit still for a few minutes.  The cable guy came and left and I watched my heretofore mentioned rambunctious kids sit quietly and watch a show on TV.   

 I hope to be blogging more.  I miss it.  I anticipate things settling down some now.  We’ll see.