Midlife Natalie

I was reading Brittany’s blog and she mentioned Alfonso Ribeiro.  Actually she didn’t mention him…she posted a video of something I honestly don’t remember.  How in the world do I not remember this?  I loved Alfonso Ribeiro!

Sidenote – I loved Silver Spoons and Ricky Schroeder!  I loved Jason Bateman’s role of Derek.  And I loved Alfonso playing a kid named Alfonso!

I loved him so much that I bought his single Not Too Young.  Here is a sample of what I still own from my youth!

Wasn’t he just perfect?!?

And honestly I never did like him as Carlton!  That’s when we had to break-up.  I had a hard time seeing him being anything other than cool!

And for the record…see what I did there…record…I love nerds.  I just didn’t love Alfonso as a nerd.  It didn’t work for me!

So I’ve been working on this whole budget thing.  I am pretty good at categorizing things and figuring out how much money goes into each category, but I keep forgetting things.  Like haircuts.  I want to get one and didn’t budget for it.  So do I pull from entertainment, medical, clothing?  Or does it come from the miscellaneous money that seems to float around that never gets put in any category.  I do that on purpose just to have a buffer.  But if I get my roots done and a haircut it will be more than the misc. money.  And then I won’t have a buffer for unexpected things.  And why are there always so many little unexpected things?   Just this week we had to buy a finger splint for $7, a book of stamps for Sweet Tea’s daughter’s graduation announcements, and some Easter candy.  None of these things were planned for or budgeted expenses.  I should have known about the candy and stamps, but I didn’t think of either one when I was putting together our budget for the month.  And the finger splint became a necessity when the oldest slammed her finger in the front door and then again the next day in the dishwasher.  

Thankfully, that curve you see there is the natural curve of her finger, and I don’t think it’s broken.  It is sore though!  And it cost 7 unexpected dollars so far.  I just hope she doesn’t have to go to the doctor, although I do have some money budgeted for that!  They said it would take 90 days to get the hang of the budget.  I’m thinking they’re right!

All kidding aside… I must say it’s been a great thing so far.  I love paying off bills.  That has been one of the perks.  Getting some of our stuff paid off quicker.

Once we have our bills paid off we’re gonna be rich!  (Nevermind that there are 6 kids that need to go to college around here.  We lie and tell ourselves that we are going to be independently wealthy.  It takes the sting away from the paying off bills part.)

Yesterday I was craving a seafood boil.  I love crawfish, shrimp, crab…well pretty much any seafood thrown in a pot with some spices, potatoes, sausage, and corn will do.  We went to Blue Water Seafood where we tried their namesake, the Blue Water Boil.  It was a combo of all of the above!  It was pretty good, but I’m still thinking the best boil I’ve had in recent years was this one.

This was last summer in Pierre Part, Louisiana, where we were visiting Sweet Tea’s daughter and grandson.  Her pseudo son-in-law treated us to this amazing feast.  The crab were amazing, but it was the shrimp that were to die for!  Bayou shrimp just taste different than gulf shrimp.  I assume the difference is a salt water verses fresh water thing.  I ate my weight in food that day!  It’s hard not to when the food is just thrown down on newspapers and everyone digs in.  Picking crab and peeling shrimp means you are working for the food, but you don’t realize how many you’ve eaten until you’ve eaten too many!  

I can’t wait to indulge again!

Words muttered around me and and by me lately.

Scenario 1 – while working on reading passages

Me: Why do you have a metal fork on your desk?

Student: For my lunch (and he pulled a metal can of spaghetti-o’s out of his jacket pocket.)

Scenario 2 – while working on reading passages

Ms. White: (After checking Alyssa’s paper.)  It’s your birthday.  Go Alyssa.  You got them right!

Ms. White:  (After checking Tasha’s paper) Ok, go back and check number 3.  You might need to reread to passage to understand it.

Tasha:  Aren’t you going to sing to me?

Me:  Um, it’s not your birthday.

Scenario 3 – while working on reading passages

Student – What?  I got it wrong?  I thought proposition meant to corner someone and make them an offer…

Me – Um…how old are you again?

Scenario 4 – while talking about getting a driver’s license

Will – Can’t we use the jeep for my driving test?

Me – We can if Papa hasn’t sold it yet.  He’s got a sign in the window.

Will – What?  I love the jeep.  I’ll offer him some chewing gum for it.

Jacob – Man, I wish someone paid me in gum.

A letter from a student.  All spelling, grammar, punctuation mistakes are his AND make me want to stab my eyes out since I am the English Language Arts/Reading teacher.

One must also note that a very similar note was given to another teacher in the school by the same student.  She is the Assistant Principal/Instructional Facilitator for our school.  She taught 5th grade ELAR before I did.  She works with the student in a small group just to give him the extra push he needs.

Ms. Dixon you are the 2 best teacher ever I wish that I was a strigh A & B student I was In 1st-3rd!  I know you try your very best to make us past the star test And I thank you for that.  You are the kind of woman I want to mary I admuir you. Best regards, 

His note made it sound like the Staar Test was in the past, when in reality it is next week.  I am trying very hard to keep myself together and not stress out too much over it, but this test will determine who goes on to 6th grade and who stays with me again next year!  Oh my, I hope they all “past,” because I am ready to put this in MY past!!

(The whole marry and admire part of his note is sweet and all, but this kid loves attention and will say and do anything to get it.  He wrote those same words in the note to the other teacher first and saw her reaction so he included them in mine.  I have a feeling other teachers might be receiving similar notes in the not too distant future!)

A count of the classes I’ve been taking lately…

1.  Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace course – I love it!  It is something I wish I had done years ago!  I’ve heard so many good ideas and learned several habits of financially successful people.  We are working on implementing them around here.

2.  Staar Test Facilitator Training – This is the stuff I need to know in order to give the Staar Achievement Test to my students in April.  This is where you learn what you can and can’t do, can and can’t say, etc.  Pretty much I learned that if asked a question I am allowed to say, “I can’t answer that question for you, just do your best.”  Also, if during my monitoring I notice that someone has not bubbled their answers on their scantron, I am allowed to say, “You have failed to record your answers on your answer document.  Please go back and mark your answers now.”  Good times will be had by all!

3.  TELPAS training – These were online videos where I learned how to determine a student’s ability to write, speak, and decipher spoken English.  After the videos I had to actually do this and I failed miserably at it the first time.  I was a hard grader apparently.  You wouldn’t think so since I have experienced some language acquisition issues myself.

4. Healthy Relationship Workshop – Sweet Tea and I did this one together.  It was basic information about how to establish and maintain healthy relationships.  It included ideas on boundaries, communication, fighting, intimacy, and a variety of other issues.  It was a great class.  The best part was when two gay men started whimpering when they learned how long they should wait before adding sexual intimacy to a relationship.

I need to make some wall space for all these certificates I’m earning.  People will want to know how learned I am!

(I have to say I was a tad bit disappointed in the fact that there were no certificates for the relationship class.  I thought everyone gave out certificates nowadays!  Maybe it’s my teacher self coming out.  I guess I’ll have to make my own!  Totally a teacher thing to do!)

I love my principal!  I honestly can’t say enough good things about her.  She’s great at her job, but I love her personality more than anything.  She’s encouraging, supportive, and so funny!

I work at a school that’s almost an even split between Mexican American and African American students.  There are a few Jamaicans, a few Caucasian, and that pretty much sums it up.  Many students are actually mixed race babies from the above categories.  The staff is a more even mix between the groups, with 9 Hispanic teachers, 13 African American, 6 Caucasian, and an Asian thrown in the mix.  We also have a few mixed race teachers as well.

Today we were talking about some of the extremely unusual names our students have.  It’s important to note here that my principal is African American and has a common name.  We’ll call her Susan.  She married a man whose name is almost common.  We’ll call him Donal, like Donald just without the final D.  She has two children with common names.  Peter and Ashley.  Pretty straight forward.  Easy to read.

During some of our meetings we were filling out paperwork for our students and one of the other African American teachers, a lovely, young woman named Miranda, wondered aloud why a parent would give a kid such an unusual moniker.  The name was something similar to Der’Maestro.  Susan, my principal, piped up with, “Don’t act like you don’t know how we do.  You know how we do!”  I died laughing.  I said you didn’t do it!  Your kids have common names.  We also had to do paperwork on La’quadrion, Queylin, Geshowni, and Joshacheley.

I actually enjoy the unusual names.  It makes for much more interesting classes.  I would much rather say, “Chaneshea sit down!” than “Beth sit down!”  It’s like a tongue twister!

(All names have been slightly changed to protect the innocent, but believe me it didn’t add to or detract from the impact of their actual name!)

So I am blogging again.  Maybe this will be a lasting relationship.  My relationship with blogging sure did start out strong back in 2005.  What a different place I’m in 8 years later. A different place physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.  I could say a lot more about all of that, but I’m going to choose to let those words be enough for now.

One thing I will say is that I was much healthier back then!  I had recently lost a lot of weight and continued to keep it off.  I had a tummy tuck in 2006 to get rid of the extra skin I carried around.  I looked and felt good.  I was way healthier in my mid to late thirties than I ever was in my mid to late twenties.  Now that age 44 is drawing near I know I need to get there again.  Since moving back to the states I have put on a few pounds.  (A few equals about 30.)  The first couple of years I added about 10 pounds.  The other 20 seemed to just show up overnight.  The first year I exercised.  The last three years have been mostly exercise free.  Numerous times I’ve said I was going to do something about my weight gain and added health issues, but my heart really wasn’t in it.  I know I need to get back to where I was, but my heart still really isn’t in it.

And stress…I am feeling it again.  When I was in my twenties I got an ulcer and then was diagnosed with a spastic colon.  It wasn’t pretty.  Both happened during my first 3 years of teaching and came about because of the stress of disciplining kids all day long.  I’m teaching again…and well…my body is telling me about it.  I know if I lost some weight, exercised, and took up a hobby (Blogging….I’m looking at you!) I might be able to handle the stress better.

I think I need an all expenses paid vacation to Disney World or some fun in the sun on an island cruise to kick start my de-stressing period.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go eat some pizza and breadsticks.  A girl has to have her priorities straight, and if you’ll remember, pizza was always a priority!

Sometimes I think about this blog and wonder if anyone even looks at it anymore.  The fact that I haven’t been writing anything at all here or anywhere else bothers me.  It used to be so important to me.  A lifeline to sanity.   And I wonder if I should resurrect the blog.  Should I say something?  And do I have anything to say?

When I started teaching I definitely blogged less.  It was the nature of the beast.  I didn’t have as much time, but when I did take the time to blog I didn’t really worry so much about what I was saying.  Kindergarteners couldn’t find blogs on the internet and they certainly weren’t going to try.  And then I changed grades.  Fifth graders were different.  They might find it.  They might read it.  And that wasn’t something I was ready to deal with.  I was also concerned that the parents of some of those fifth graders would find it.  What would they say if they knew I was gay?  How would they react if they knew some of the things written here?  I didn’t blog much because I was so busy with work and so busy after work just trying to get everything done that the blog mostly took a backseat to life.  And I didn’t have the time to care much.

I’ve taught at the same school now for 3 years.  I love the people I work with.  Even though they don’t realize it, they’ve seen me through some tough times.  When I started teaching there in March of 2010 I was in the middle of a divorce and nobody knew it.  I didn’t tell a soul.  My divorce was final that summer and nobody had a clue.  My teaching partner found out because I had to deal with something while we were at a conference once, and I started to cry about it.  I confessed to her that I was divorced.  It was such an ugly word to me!  I slowly let people know that I was divorced, but I told very few people that it had happened under their very noses.  Many of them assumed I was married because I had kids, but nobody really asked and I didn’t tell.  There would be no gossip about me!  Over the next year people slowly discovered that I was divorced.  Fast forward a year.  During a conference one of my fellow attendees asked me why I got divorced.  She was single and curious about marriage and all.  I didn’t know what to say.  I confessed to her and another teacher that I was gay and both were very sweet about it.  They didn’t seem like it bothered them at all!  I was worried that I would be the talk of the school once we got back, but as far as I could tell nobody said anything about it.  Sweet Tea and I started dating at this exact time.  She came to school with me to help set up my classroom and everyone met her.  They knew she was my friend, but that was all that we said.  We assumed that her lunch deliveries and attending school functions clued people in to who we were, but nobody said anything to me.  Later we confessed to my newest teaching partner, and, as we suspected, she already knew.  She said people were talking.  That people would ask her, and she always told them that they should ask me if they wanted to know anything.  I was so surprised that it was being talked about!  I hadn’t heard any murmurings.  Nobody seemed to treat me any differently than before so I was fine with it.

Today several people at the school know I’m gay.  It isn’t a big deal.  There are even a few parents who know.  They’re the ones who are at the school a lot helping out so they hear the gossip and rumors.  Just after Christmas I was talking to a mom of a student in my class.  She asked if I had gotten anything “special” for Christmas.  I wasn’t exactly sure what she was referring to so I mentioned a couple of gifts that I got and said it was a good holiday.  Her response to me was, “Well, don’t you have a partner?”  I was stunned.  I told her that I did and that she had gotten me an iPad mini.  I have no idea how she found out.  I’m guessing some of those other parents and maybe even some staff.  I guess they are talking.  She was totally cool with it, and things have been fine with her.

I still haven’t come right out and told most people.  I’m pretty sure everyone knows, but if they don’t want to ask I don’t feel the need to share.  Yesterday I was commended for not being a gossiper.  I don’t talk about others.  If someone tells me something, they know I will not share it with anyone.  I don’t want to be gossip fodder and I’m not going to start any of my own.

Sweet Tea and I have taken a spur of the moment trip to Corpus Christi since we are kidless for the weekend.  The hotel is nice, but the bed is a tad too hard for me so I’m up early on a day I don’t have to be.  I’m ok with that.  This morning I’ve been reading blogs here and there, revisiting some I haven’t seen in a while.  Avitable made me laugh this morning with this post.  Thanks Adam!