Author Archives: midlifenatalie

It’s Sunday night and I’m dreading work tomorrow. While I can’t say much, I will say that the 4th graders are much harder than the kindergartners I had in almost every way.  Makes for long days and weeks!

November 9.  I remember this day last year.  It was the start of my first weekend as a single person.  I was rejoicing in my new found freedom and the calm that came with it.  I needed it!  Now I am rejoicing in the amazing 9 month long relationship that I have had with Candied Jansen, and I’m so excited to be sharing this life with her!

Speaking of sharing this life…she is counting down the days until we move in together on a chart on her bathroom mirror.  I love that!  I love that she is just as sure about me as I am about her.  She shared some stuff with me on Friday that meant a lot to me.  To open up and give of yourself completely is amazing.  I love her.

Candied Jansen and I are both trying to lose a little weight and be healthier.  She has this fancy scale that measures body fat, muscle mass, and water as well as gives you your weight.  The other day I stepped on that thing completely naked and let her see and write down my numbers.  Telling someone how much I weigh was never something I was comfortable doing.  I just didn’t share that.  She is different.  She loves me.  Before I got on the scale, she loved me and after she saw the numbers, she still loved me.  It was so easy.  Loving her is so easy.

I am so excited for the holidays!  I felt the same way last year!  I was in a buying/shopping/cooking mood!  This usually happens to me every fall.  I want to decorate and cook and clean.  I always wish for my stay at home mom days during the holiday season because I want to just soak in everything.

Tomorrow is a big day for me.  I am registering for the first two classes in my masters program which starts in the spring.  I have always said I had no desire to get my masters, but after having a job come open that I was recommended for and not getting it because they preferred someone with a masters, I decided to just go for it.  It’s all online, which is a little scary to me, but it was really the only way it would work for me.  Hopefully it won’t be too hard to keep up with.

I did a lot of internet surfing today.  This post about the Berlin Wall was so interesting to me.  Here is a link to a story I read about reincarnation that fascinated me!  I also enjoyed browsing this site which is filled with wreaths for all occasions!

And finally, I made this yummy crock pot dish yesterday.  4 chicken breasts, a can of Rotel, a can of whole kernel corn (drained), a can of black beans (drained and rinsed), and a block of cream cheese.  Cook on high until it mixes together and thickens up.  Shred the chicken breasts up after it is done cooking.  Originally the plan was to put it on tortillas like tacos, but we ended up eating it as a dip with some salsa, sour cream, and avocado on the side.  It was good warm and cold.  I will definitely be making it again!

I have nothing to say!  Why is that?

Candied Jansen and I saw the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty today.  It was decent, but it took a bit.  It started off so weird and not good that we were just about to give up on it.  Finally, it turned around some and ended fairly well.

We are currently watching a recorded episode of Saturday Night Live.  It is also fairly ridiculous.  Prince is looking all kinds of crazy.

Here’s a picture of my dog smiling.

And to be fair…my fat cat.

So this is it for this post I guess.  I suck!

I had an appointment with the doctor today just to get prescriptions refills.  When I was leaving it was quitting time at the hospital.  I approached the elevators where a hoard of nurses were waiting to board.  When the elevator came, nine nurses and I got on it.  As the doors shut, I felt a funny sense of relief.  Even though the elevator was pretty crowded, I thought it was the perfect group to be on an elevator with!  Nine nurses on their way home from work!  Nine nurses with purses!  If the elevator got stuck or if anyone had a medical emergency while on the elevator, they would totally be taken care of.  I imagined emergency tracheotomies with ball point pens, and then wondered what other goodies those nurses carried in their purses!  I was slightly disappointed when the elevator doors opened on the ground floor and everyone scattered and went on their way.  Sigh!

Random thoughts…

1.  I’ve always said I could eat Mexican food everyday.  So far I’m at four days straight and I’m still not tired of it!  It’s not like I am testing out that theory on purpose, but I’m also not complaining that I’ve had opportunity to eat something that I didn’t have to cook for four days in a row!  Score!

2.  I stood on a scale while completely naked this afternoon and let Candied Jansen write down my measurements.  Her scale calculates body fat, muscle mass, and water as well as your weight.  The amazing part about all of this is that I wasn’t at all embarrassed or worried about what she would think of me.  With her I am completely comfortable and feel nothing but love and acceptance.

3.  I was watching Dancing with the Stars faithfully until a week and a half ago.  I missed that episode and still haven’t watched to catch up.  I missed this past Monday’s episode and don’t care about it a bit.  This is typical for me.  It’s how I tend to watch TV.  I rarely finish what I start when it comes to a show.

4.  I am not a fan of politics.  I can’t stand to hear the arguing back and forth and the way each side blames the other for whatever problems they see.  I seriously can’t stand to read bad things about Republicans or George Bush or Dick Cheney nor do I want to read anything bad about Obama or anyone Democrat.  If you are my friend on Facebook and you constantly talk about one side or the other, I’ve probably blocked your posts.  Just saying…

5.  Ok…I’m too tired to think of a thing five.  That’s all…four things.

It’s November and I’m starting to get in a holiday mood.  The crazy part is that it’s not just Thanksgiving and Christmas that are on my mind.  It’s all the holidays.  I’ve been spending some time on Pinterest lately, and I feel somewhat inspired to create/decorate my house.  And really more specifically OUR house.  The one the Candied Jansen and I plan to share one day in the not so distant future.

I am loving these things currently…

both from here.

I also loved this!

Found here…Genius!

And all the wreaths found on this page!

I’ve also pinned several ideas for Christmas presents for my family.  I can’t share those though on the off chance…and really it is extremely slim…that one of them might read my blog between now and then!

And it’s not just the holidays that have had my attention on Pinterest.  I’ve pinned more pictures of outdoor showers and waterfalls and whole outdoor rooms than I can count.  We will definitely have to move if we plan to spend as much time outside as I’ve wished for in my pins.

And last but certainly not least, the food.  Do you have any idea how many ideas there are for amazing meals?  Healthy meals, completely unhealthy meals, and desserts galore are everywhere on Pinterest!

I need to get off this computer and get busy if I’m going to have time to create any of the things I’ve pinned!

I’m not a big fan of this time change so far. I don’t like getting to work when the sun is up, because I feel like I am late. I don’t like leaving work when the sun is getting ready to go down because I feel like I don’t have time to get much done before bedtime. I know I’ll adjust, but so far, today, I’m not happy about it.

The good news about the time change, though, is that my little clock, you know…the one that I wrote a post about…handled it like a champ. No need to take the battery out and wait until it caught up.  The mechanism for turning the knob seemed to be working just fine.  Whew!

And while I’m not happy with the time change, I think I could do with a do-over!  I am exhausted and that extra hour of sleep sure sounds nice right about now!

Other time related news…

I am having a hard time managing my time at school.  I have three different classes and the library and computer schedules are driving me crazy.  At the beginning of the school year, we sign up for a library time and a computer lab time.  I did that, but remember, I was teaching one class of kindergarteners at the time.  Once I moved to 3 different classes of 4th grade, I needed to add library and computer lab times for each class since I am the reading teacher.  Because other teachers had already chosen times, I had to work around them. What is driving me crazy now is that one class goes to the computer lab on Monday, one goes on Wednesday, and one goes on Thursday.  One class goes to the library on Tuesday, and the other two go on Friday.  Trying to keep up with what I taught to each class and making sure that by Friday, they’ve all had the same lessons even if they were taught on different days is wearing me out!

Now, now there…would you look at the time.  Gotta run!

Yesterday, Candied Jansen sent me a text with a picture of a case of water bottles.  She was showing me how much she loves me by buying those water bottles.  She prefers to use a filter in her fridge and BPA free reusable water bottles.  I get it.  I really do.  But the water doesn’t taste as good to me.  I just don’t like it.  I am an Aquafina or a Kroger water girl.  For some reason, I think they taste the best.  So in order to encourage more water drinking on my part, she bought the water I like best.  She has also kept a steady supply of diet coke in her pantry since that is usually my drink of choice.  All this despite her rarely drinking sodas at all.   All because she loves me.

I, on the other hand, have added a recycling trash can inside my pantry to aid in actually recycling my bottles to make her happy.  I have also stopped using mushrooms or cream of mushroom soup in anything that she will be eating.  She hates mushrooms and doesn’t even want to contemplate the idea that a mushroom could be hiding in her food.  I’ve also toned down the spiciness of some dishes to accommodate her sensitive taste buds.  All because I love her.

Love is like that.  Some of the best advice I ever heard on love was actually from my ex-husband to his college roommate.  He said that when you love someone, you give and give and give.  You give 100%.  Don’t let it be a 50/50 thing because inevitably one of you will mess up or get sick or in some way not be able to give your allotted 50% and the other person is left to pick up the slack.  If both parties are giving 100%, when someone can’t give their full 100, there are no worries about falling short.  The slack is automatically picked up.  The best part is that there is no reason to have to take.  If you are constantly being given to and having your needs met, you get to be a receiver and not a taker.

I love that Candied Jansen is a giver, and I love being able to give back.

I decided that since it is NaBloPoMo I would attempt to blog every day in November.  Well, everyday starting today, November 2nd, because I didn’t actually make the decision until today.  So here goes…

I spent some time today going back through my computer history and bookmarks to delete some stuff.  There was stuff on there that I hadn’t looked at in forever!  Here are a few things that interested me at one time or another…

these pencil sharpeners

a compound interest calculator for back when I was contemplating budgets and savings accounts.

this lgbtq blog

these cheese puffs

And there were so many more!

I also cleaned out my blog reader.  I had been meaning to do that for some time, but instead of taking the time to actually clean it out, I would just delete posts I didn’t care to read.  I had 88 feeds that I “followed”, and now I’m down to 62.  Some of the ones I saved haven’t blogged in a couple of years or have set their blogs to invited readers only, but if they ever start blogging again, I want to be able to pick back up where I left off.

I miss The Jason Show, Our Simple Lives, Be Gay About It, A Road With a View, Holy Crappers, and From the Planet of Janet.  Maybe one day they’ll be back or open to everyone again.

I’ve been told that this blog needs updating.  That’s all fine and good, but I can’t seem to find the time or the motivation to update it.  When I have time, I’m reading blog posts instead of writing them.  I’m playing silly games on the iPad.  I’m surfing the internet.  I’m spending time wrapped in my lover’s arms.  Pretty much anything but writing.  I’m ok with that.  I’m sure I’ll find something interesting to say at some point.

I look at my backyard and it doesn’t bother me a bit.  It should.  It is nothing like my yards have ever looked.  The grass is riddled with dead spots.  The flowerbeds are full of weeds and mostly neglected plants.  The Confederate Rose Bush/Tree is blooming but only because that’s what it does.  It got no help from me.  The Turk’s Cap is a very durable plant that blooms all summer as mine has done.  It’s also taken over the shrubs that grew nearby.  My roses have bloomed, but I haven’t gone out to remove the spent blossoms and the stems look gangly and pathetic.  The Butterfly Bush was trimmed into a tree earlier in the summer, but that might not have been the best idea since it sits in a spot that has stayed wet with all the rains we’ve gotten lately.  I found it falling into the rose bushes and instead of staking it like I should have done when I trimmed it up, I just moved the wheelbarrow against it so it’s wedged between it and the fence.  I think there’s some oregano mixed in with the weeds that are growing in one of the planter boxes.  And speaking of weeds, there are plenty of them in every place a weed could be.  I have gone out and weeded the back flowerbeds some and I’ve tried to stay on top of the weeds growing in the grass in the front yard, but I definitely haven’t given it much of my time.  Every spring I usually buy new flowers for the front beds, veggies to plant in back, and maybe a new shrub or two just for fun.  I mulch the beds so they retain some moisture and look nice, but this year I did nothing.  I bought nothing.  I spent zero dollars and very little time on my yard.

Even though I am not fond of the way my yard looks, I don’t regret the lack of effort I gave it.

I was busy tending to something else.

Love.  And it has grown and blossomed and made life beautiful.  It was fed and watered and cultivated and given great care.

Candied Jansen says she weaseled her way into my life.  I guess that’s somewhat true.  I had been single for 2 1/2 months and had no real desire to date anyone.  I wasn’t looking for love.  I was enjoying hanging out with friends and having the freedom to make decisions without worrying about how it would affect anyone but me.  I was breathing again.  My friends said I was a totally different person.  That I seemed much happier.  And I was.  Life was great.

And then Candied Jansen asked me to dinner and I said yes.  Within two weeks, I was in love with her.  Two weeks in I knew I had met the one.  The one who would change my life.  And she has.  The last 7 months have been so full of love and life.  It’s so hard to put into words what makes her so special.  So perfect for me, but I’ll try.

First of all, she is one of the most giving, caring, loving people I’ve ever met.  She is constantly thinking about others and how she can help them or bless them in some way.  She gives of her time and of her resources on a regular basis.  And the way she treats me is beyond what I ever dreamed possible.  I feel so spoiled by her.  She seems to delight in doing stuff for me, whether it’s buying tickets to see Brad Paisley in concert or keeping her pantry stocked with Diet Coke.  She tells me I’m beautiful and shows me that she really means it.  The way she touches me does so many things.  It either lights me on fire or makes me feel warm and protected.  I also love that she is so vulnerable with me.  She lets me be the protector and the strong one when she needs me to be.  She shares herself with me completely.  I love that.  I also love that she has a nerdy side.  She loves charts and graphs and is so good with money.  She knows where every penny goes and already has her budgets for the next 2 years planned.  I love that she’s taped goals to her bathroom mirror and that she’s flexible enough to change them when things don’t go like she planned.  I love that she’s taken an I love you email from me and taped it there as well.  I love her heart.  The way she cries when a beautiful dance has moved her or when a story has touched her is amazing.  I love that she can dress in cargo shorts, t-shirts, and flip flops as well as slacks, a dress shirt, and heels and still be herself.   She hugs me and kisses me wherever and whenever and doesn’t ever wait to see if I’ll touch her first.  If she wants me to play with her hair, she asks, which I absolutely love!  I love that she’s committed to things.  She’s owned her car for 14 years and worked for the same company for over 16 years! She loves a good margarita and knows how to get just the right amount of butter and salt in every bite of movie theater popcorn.  I could go on and on about her.  I’m sure that’s obvious.

The plan is to move in together next summer.  Maybe when we are actually living together, we’ll have the time and the desire to think about growing things in our yard.  We can plant flowers and vegetables and enjoy our backyard together.  Right now all I can think is that I want to keep tending to this love that I share with Candied Jansen because I plan to marry her one day.