Midlife Natalie

I feel like I’ve let this blog go. Mostly that doesn’t bother me because I’ve been enjoying life so much, but there is a part of me that wishes I had written some things down. Memories that are already fading in my mind even though they are only months old.

Like the story of the lady that Candied Jansen and I met in New Orleans. We were walking back to our car from lunch at Parasol’s and admiring the houses and yards on Constance Street. An older lady (and honestly I have no idea how old she was…maybe in her late 60s…maybe younger) who was piddling around in her yard called out to us. I don’t know what made her stop us, but I’m guessing it was obvious that we weren’t from the area and that we were a couple. We stuck out. Well she talked to us about where we were from and what we had done while we were in town. She had several recommendations of things we should go and do. And then she invited us in to see her house and for a cold beverage. Candied Jansen and I looked at each other and agreed that a tour and a cold beverage sounded nice. We walked straight through the house and out into the backyard, because she wanted to show it to us. It was cute and quirky, and the 60 seconds we stood on the back steps and looked at it weren’t enough because I don’t have a good memory of what it looked like. But she was proud of it. I do remember that. We walked back into the kitchen where she fixed us glasses of lemonade. Her kitchen was small and covered with memories. Photos, newspaper articles, stickers, clippings and various other paper items covered every inch of space on the cabinet door fronts. I didn’t know where to look or if I should even be looking. I noticed a rainbow sun catcher in the window and an old wedding picture featuring two women on the refrigerator door. One of the women looked a lot like a younger version of the woman who was pouring our drinks. Again, I didn’t have enough time in the room to absorb it all. She brought us to the sitting room where we talked about politics, New Orleans, and how she was a retired teacher. She asked us how long we had been together and honestly, I think she was a little disappointed to hear that it had only been 6 months at that point. I guess since we are both in our 40s, she had hoped for a higher number. I get that. We were newbies to her. On the mantle in the room was a picture of her and her partner who was never mentioned. The picture was several years old, and my guess is that the other woman had passed away at some point. But I don’t know. We didn’t get to that. After a few minutes, she said that she had to leave so we needed to go. She did invite us to come see her again when we were in town. And despite my normal ease at remembering names, hers escapes me.

I have had the most amazing summer. It was long, celebrated, and lazy. A good combination! Candied Jansen and I spent a weekend in Austin for her birthday, a weekend in New Orleans for mine, and a week in Cancun for fun. We went to Kerrville to pick one kid up from camp and took another to see One Direction in concert in Houston. I spent a weekend in Hemphill on Toledo Bend Reservoir, shopped for my second born’s college dorm room, and have another child with a driver’s permit. I’ve eaten out a ton and exercised very little. My van finally died so I’ve been borrowing a car from my dad. My house is dirty. My grass is dry. My desk is cluttered. But my heart…my heart is so full. Life is good and love is amazing!

Tomorrow is the beginning of another school year for me. I’ll be teaching kindergarten again which I am happy about! I have a plan to get organized and back in the swing of things. I look forward to the routine again.

But…oh what a summer!

Tonight, Candied Jansen sent me this picture.

This picture was taken in 2005, about 10 months after her son was born.  She was commenting on her leg muscles in the picture because she is working on getting in better shape.

She also recently posted this picture on Facebook.

July 2006.  The point of this picture is her abs.  She wants them back.

What I noticed about these pictures and a couple others that she sent me was how sexy she was.  And she still is.  She might have gained a few pounds, but the girl oozes sex appeal.  And she has sexy clothes!

I look at my pictures from anytime in my life, and I was never that sexy!  I don’t have any sexy clothes.  I never have.  I was conservative and prudish and would have died a thousand deaths before wearing something like this!

When I told Candied Jansen that I didn’t know if I was brave enough to wear sexy clothes, she said that I just hadn’t embraced the fact that I was sexy yet.  And that she was fine with me just walking around naked until then.

I love her!

Today marks 5 months since Candied Jansen and I started officially dating.  And dating seems like such a small word when I think about who we are and what we are actually doing.  It is so much more than dating.  We are living our lives committed to each other, but we aren’t actually living together yet.  We are planning and preparing for that day though.  We’ve talked about where we want to live, how the kids play into it all, and looked at finances.  It is a reality that will be happening as the next year progresses.  I love that.  I love that we are making a plan.  Everything might not go exactly like we plan, but the fact that we are thinking it through and not rushing into something just because we are ready to be together is a good thing.  We are both of the mindset that this is forever.  I love that I am so sure of her!

And now for the focus of this post…

In the 5 months that we’ve been together, we haven’t had an argument or fight.  Not one.  We have realized that there are some things we do differently though.

One example – Candied bought us tickets for a Lady Antebellum concert in May.  The concert started at 7.  Here is where our differences came into play.  I hear that the concert starts at 7, and I automatically think we need to be there before 7 so we can be seated when it starts.  Candied hears that the concert starts at 7 and realizes that the first act goes on at 7 and Lady Antebellum probably won’t be hitting the stage until closer to 9 so as long as we are there before that, it’s good.  At no point did we discuss what time she was going to come pick me up…just that the plan was for her to pick me up.  I was ready by 5:30 and waiting on her.  I knew it would take about 45 minutes to get to the venue so as the minutes passed, I started getting a little anxious.  She finally texted to let me know she was on her way, and I questioned what time the concert started, because I thought I must have had the wrong time.  It was at this point that she mentioned her idea of when we needed to be there.  She felt bad when she realized that I was a little anxious over being late and said she wished I had said something.  I didn’t realize what she was thinking and she didn’t realize what I was thinking.  It ended up not being a big deal at all, but it was interesting to me that neither of us had any clue what the other’s idea had been.

A couple of weeks later, we had plans to go see a roller derby bout.  Candied remembered what happened with the concert so she let me know that the doors would open at 6, but that the bout didn’t start until 7:00, and she asked me what time I wanted to get there.  I loved that she wanted to make sure that I wasn’t anxious about the time.  We arrived sometime between 6 and 7, and it was fine.  I loved that we worked through that and that it was done so naturally and respectfully.

When I lived overseas, I had to relax about time a little bit.  I learned to do it, but it was hard.  I’ll never forget the first time our neighbors invited us over for dinner.  They said 7pm.  We hadn’t been in the country long and were so excited to be invited into someone’s home.  We were ready by 6:45, but since the trip to their place was literally walking out of our apartment door about 5 steps to knock on their door, we sat in the living room and waited.  Our living room wall was a shared wall with said neighbors, and even through the thick concrete wall, I could hear vacuuming.  7pm came and we waited.  When they were finally done vacuuming, I wanted to give them time to put the vacuum cleaner away, so we sat around a bit longer.  Finally at around 7:45 we went next door.  When the neighbor lady opened the door, she seemed legitimately surprised to see us there.  The floor was wet, because she had just mopped it.  The husband was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.  They showed us to the living room and then went and changed clothes.  I was somewhat embarrassed and wondered about the whole time thing.  The other couple they invited didn’t show up until close to 10pm which is when we finally had dinner.  By this point, my kids were tired and hungry, and we were ready to go home!  I really appreciated their hospitality, but I learned an important lesson that day.  Time was relative in that culture, and dinner was always late.  It took some getting used to, but I managed to handle not stressing about those sorts of events most days.

Now that I’m back in the states and have been for almost as long as I lived overseas, I have reverted to my time sensitive ways.  I hate to be late to things that have a specific starting time.  Most of the time, I’m actually early.  On regular school days, I am supposed to be at school by 8am.  I rarely ever arrive after 7:30.  If I have a doctor’s appointment at 2, I will be there by 1:45.  I can’t help it.  It’s just how I’m wired.

Candied Jansen and I have plans to fly to Cancun later this summer.  I am a huge proponent of arriving at the airport at least 2 hours early for an international flight.  I’ve flown too many times and missed too many flights because of security delays and whatnot to risk getting there late.  And this time there are kids involved which means there are more of us to get ready.  Candied’s gonna love me!

Momentous -(of a decision, event, or change) of great importance or significance, especially in its bearing on the future.

The perfect word to describe Candied Jansen’s birthday in Austin this weekend.  There were so many moments that were significant to me.  Silly, serious, big, and little…but all important.  Here are a few highlights from our trip.

We headed to Austin on Thursday with big plans for the weekend.  Those plans mostly included relaxing and taking it easy.  Check and Check!  One of the highlights from our trip was walking up 100 steps at Mount Bonnell to see the view.  It was beautiful!

After walking up the steps we decided to hike back down through some trails.  Very cool!

I also really enjoyed the places we chose to eat.  When all was said and done, we realized that we had eaten at an Austin favorite, a neighborhood gem, a lakeside hangout, a favorite TexMex chain, and from a street vendor.  The perfect balance!

The first night and the last night we had slices of pizza on 6th street.  And when I say slices, I mean HUGE slices as evident by the fact that it doesn’t even fit on the paper plate in my lap!  Nothing like eating pizza in the early morning hours after having a few drinks!  We had a late breakfast at the famous Magnolia Cafe on Friday morning.  The home fries covered with eggs and cheese were delicious!  Later that afternoon we stopped by the local Chuy’s for some yummy TexMex!  I had the Elvis Green Chile Fried Chicken which was made with a coating of Lay’s potato chips.  Nice!  On Saturday, we ate breakfast at a neighborhood restaurant called Cenote.  It had a variety of baked goods as well as some delicious breakfast choices.  I had a Cinnamon Roll for an appetizer and Migas for my meal.  Continuing with the Mexican theme that afternoon, we stopped at Hula Hut on Lake Austin.  We took the invitation to sit back, relax, and hang out on the pier overlooking the water quite literally.  We spent over 3 hours doing just that.  Hanging out and enjoying the breeze off the water, watching the boats and buses putter by, and sipping on the cold drinks we were served!  And the chips and salsa, Coconut Shrimp, and Fajita Chicken sandwich weren’t too shabby either!  As we were leaving Austin on Sunday, we stopped in Cenote to grab lunch before we headed back home.  The BLAT sandwich, a BLT with avocado, was scrumptious!

Another great part of the trip was our time on 6th street.  I had only ever seen 6th street in the daylight so to see it lit up and lively was so much fun!  We had a couple of drinks at Coyote Ugly on Thursday night.  I wasn’t willing to go crazy myself, but I did enjoy watching the other patrons have fun dancing on the bar and playing alcohol games.  We stopped in Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar our first and last nights in town.  There was a much bigger crowd on Saturday night compared to Thursday night, but both times were highly entertaining.  Apparently we made an impression on one of the piano players because as we were leaving on Saturday, he followed us out of the bar and told us he loved seeing that we were having fun and gave us four free passes to use in Houston or back in Austin the next time we’re in town!  So nice!  There was also a great doorman at Touchè’s Shot Bar.  He was very friendly and when he found out that the next day was Candied’s birthday, he brought us into the bar and got us a free drink.  The bartender was a really cool girl who was originally from Boston, and she gave us buy one get one free drinks while we were there.  When we stopped back in on Saturday night, both the doorman and the bartender were happy to see us and talked to us like we were old friends.  Later that night as we started back to our room, the doorman ran down the street to wish Candied a Happy Birthday one more time and picked us up in a great big hug!  I loved how friendly everyone was!

We stayed in a rented room in a house just across the freeway from all the action.  It was a quick walk to and from 6th street which was a nice way to get in some steps to possibly work off some of the food and drinks we consumed.  Just being together, holding hands, and talking while we walked was so perfectly relaxing.

There were a few kinks in the original plan though.  Candied’s car was towed our first night in town so we had that to deal with in the middle of the night.  A boat trip that we’ve tried to plan twice now ended up being a no go, and a driver scraped the side of Candied’s car while I was adhering a parking pass to the windshield, nearly giving me a heart attack!  But even though those things happened, I have come away from the weekend with a feeling of contentment and happiness that defies description.  Being able to get away and enjoy each other was so nice.  Having to deal with the car issues together gave us insight into each other’s personalities a little more.  I loved that there were opportunities to learn what the other needs and how to give it so that they feel loved and important.  I am so thankful for the amazing person that Candied is.  I am so lucky that I get to spend my life with her!  I love that she celebrated her birthday in a momentous way!  I pray that this is the first of many birthday celebrations spent together!

Happy Birthday, beautiful!  I love you!

UPDATE:  The Winner has been chosen!

Congratulations to stillstumbling!  Your Shark Tank Swag is on its way!  

Have you ever had an amazingly awesome idea for a new invention that was going to make you millions if only you got off your butt and actually invented it?  I know…me too!  Well, apparently some people do create the things they imagine!  CNBC has this fabulous show called Shark Tank where real live inventors bring their amazingly awesome inventions and attempt to convince actual investors to give them money to create more of their product.  Sometimes the products they have invented are quite questionable and the investors opt out, but sometimes a product has real potential.  Recently, the good folks at Shark Tank CNBC sent me a box of some of their favorite Shark Tank Swag.  When I heard that a box was on it’s way, I wondered what I would be getting?  Would it be the Baby Loves Disco CD?  How about a CitiKitty Cat Toilet Training Kit?  Or oh my gosh…what about the 5 Minute Furniture?  I couldn’t wait to see what fun stuff I’d be getting!

Oh My Gosh…I’m so excited!!!

And now for the big reveal!

Someone is mad creative here!

And they sound surprisingly good!

And then I saw this…

And I actually started salivating!

Hey…my doctor makes me get Vitamin B12 shots!  This is WAY better than being poked with a needle!

And since I tend to be a water snob…this is perfect for me!

Perfect!  Who doesn’t love a barbecue in the summer??

The Shark Tank folks have also given me another box to offer to you guys!  Just comment on this post anytime before Sunday, July 6th at noon to be entered to win!  You can also share this post on twitter or Facebook and I’ll give you an additional chance to win!  Just let me know you did so!  The winner will be chosen randomly.  Good Luck!

And if you’re interesting in tuning in to Shark Tank on CNBC, back to back episodes air on Tuesdays at 8pm.

Disclaimer…I was given the Shark Tank box for free with no strings attached.  I chose to blog about it and asked for an extra to give away.

Back when I was in Turkey, I was asked if I would be interested in doing a review of Cocoa Puffs Combos which paired the chocolatey puffs with vanilla puffs.  The email came from someone who said she read my blog and noticed that I did reviews of products.  I guess she was thinking about the posts I did where I forced my kids to try things for fun and then I took pictures of their discomfort and blogged it.  She said she would send me a coupon for a free box of the cereal.  Well, since I lived in Turkey, I had to decline because a coupon would do me no good since the cereal wasn’t even available there.

Several months later we were back in the states and I happened to be reading Brittany’s blog where she was giving away the Passion Wave Butterfly.  Yep…a fancy name for a dildo.  I laughed when I saw it and thought about that breakfast cereal coupon giveaway I could have been a part of.   I commented on her post, not in hopes of winning the dildo, but because I thought it was hilarious that she was giving away dildos in comparison to my cereal.  A week or so later, Eden Fantasys contacted me with the following email.

Happy Friday,
Great comments over on Barefoot Foodie about the contest we were sponsoring. I
loved it, and I dig your blog as well. If you are interested I would really
like to work with you on a review or contest. I am sure we could have some fun.

Email me anytime to talk about it more.

Either way keep up the great blogging and rock on !!!

And I laughed.  Because there was no way that I could say yes.   Although we had been back in the states for 4 months, we had not yet resigned from the Christian organization who was giving us a paycheck on a monthly basis.  I was still married and trying to sort out what I needed to do for myself and my family.  AND probably the biggest reason I needed to say no was because all of the coworkers and church friends who were rabid readers of my blog.  I was already walking a fine line with them after getting a tattoo!  Not only that, dealing with the realization that I was 100% a lesbian had me running from everything penis like.  I wasn’t about to get one to use with or without my husband!  So I politely declined.  I did feel somewhat better about myself since I was now more than breakfast cereal worthy though!  

Some bloggers don’t like to review products or do give-aways on their blogs.  I don’t mind it.  I enjoy trying new things and encouraging others to try new things as well.  I am all about the adventure of it!  And I have no problem giving my HONEST opinion about whatever it is that I’m asked to try.  Stay tuned for a review/give away coming soon!

The day after my first date with Candied Jansen I had to have some routine blood work done.  The lab was supposed to open at 7am that Saturday morning so I arrived at exactly 7am figuring I’d probably have to wait a few minutes, but I didn’t think it’d be long.  Well, at 7am the line was about 15 people long.  The 15 people weren’t too bad, but the fact that the line was still outside the locked door to the lab was a problem.  The line continued to grow and still nobody showed up to open up the lab.  Because we were all hungry after fasting for the required 8-12 hours, people steadily got verbal about having to wait.  Some people left, some got on the phone with the lab’s answering service, and others just complained loudly to each other.  Finally, a lab tech showed up at 7:30, and that poor girl had to hear about it.  She didn’t have a key, but after getting on the phone with someone else she was told a code to a box that had a key in it.  I didn’t think there was any way that we would all be able to fit in the waiting room, but because we had all made friends in the line, our personal space limits had decreased and we squeezed in.  I sat next to a girl who I assumed was a lesbian.  I honestly didn’t sit next to her because she was a lesbian, but because she was in front of me in line.  I had already talked to her some, and after talking for another minute, I noticed she was wearing a bracelet that I assumed was one of those fitness tracking things.  I asked about it, and she confirmed my suspicions.  She said she had gotten it for Christmas and loved it.  She told me all about the things it did, and I thought it sounded like something worth looking into.  I made a mental note to check into fitness tracking bracelets when I got home.

And I did at some point in the next few weeks, but I didn’t buy one because I was too busy falling in love to commit to a fitness tracking bracelet.

Recently, in her quest to renew her health, Candied Jansen started wearing a fitness tracking armband.  It was something she already owned and used to wear all the time.  It reminded me of the bracelets so I started looking at them again.  I talked to Candied about them some and finally decided to cough up the money to buy one.  When I texted her to tell her I was going to go ahead and get one, she came back with a, “Don’t do it” which caught me off guard some.  She went on to explain that she had done some research of her own and had already ordered one for me.  Aw…I told you she was sweet!  I got the Polar Loop fitness tracker with an added heart monitor.

After a minor mix-up in shipping, it arrived last weekend.  I have been wearing the bracelet for 3 days, and I am enjoying it.  I have yet to hit 10,000 steps in a day, but every day I’ve gotten closer.  And because I am aware of how many steps I’m taking, I’m choosing to do more walking in my every day activities.  I’ve chosen parking places that are a further distance from the door than I normally would pick.  I’ve also gone up and down the stairs a few extra times instead of yelling up them for the kids to come to me.  Today, I will be going up and down the stairs to do laundry quite a bit and have a trip to the grocery store planned.  I know those two things aren’t enough to get me to 10,000 steps, but the fact that I’m even thinking about what else I can do, outside of actual exercise, to get there is a step (pun intended!) in the right direction.

A couple of notes…

I am not opposed to actual exercise, I’m just letting a broken toenail heal a few more days before I put on a tennis shoe.

I love how my entire introductory paragraph had nothing to do with fitness bracelets, but the entire experience was memorable so I decided to share it!

You’re welcome.

So it’s June and I did absolutely none of the New Year’s Resolutions/Lifestyle changes I talked about in this post.  I have continued to haphazardly make my way through the past 6 months, BUT things have changed for me.

1.  My health.  I wanted to walk the dog and go on walks myself, but it was freaking cold.  We had two days of freezing weather which caused us to miss school, and I didn’t want to leave my house.  I realize I just said 2 days, but those 2 days were surrounded by some of the coldest days we’ve had here.  Pipes had to be wrapped and layers had to be worn.  I abhor being cold so I did not go outside and walk like I planned.  By the time the weather had warmed up enough, I was spending my time doing other things.  I did, however, lose about 8 pounds which I have since put back on, so I’m back to where I was in January.

2.  My budget.  I also said that I was planning to have the Budget Nazi make a comeback starting with my mid-January paycheck.  Well…I did budget that paycheck, but I never sat down to fill out the budget completely and then by the mid-February paycheck I was spending my time doing other things and money was spent here and there and who knows where.  Seriously…I barely know where I spent my money other than on bills…which I hate!

3.  My creative side.  Well, I have definitely let that take a back seat to life, but I know that when life gets busy for me, that’s the one thing I let slide some.  And honestly…I have no problems with that part.  I was BUSY!

BUSY…falling madly, hopelessly in love with the most amazing woman.  I know you’re all shocked to hear that…considering that’s all I’ve talked about on this blog for the past 4 months, but the journey we’re on is so amazingly beautiful, I can’t help but gush over it!  It has taken all my time and energy and I do not regret for a minute putting it all there.

That being said though, I now need to get myself in gear as far as my health and my budget go!  My plans include pretty much exactly what I said on the resolution blog post, adding in trips to the gym for my health and seriously curbing my spending.  The best part is that I now have Candied Jansen to encourage me along the way.  She’s renewing some of her own resolutions this month as well so we’re doing this together.  I love that she is good at both healthy living and a budget so she is the perfect encourager for me!

In two and a half days I’ll be out of school for the summer!  I usually spend the summers getting myself together, and this summer I really need to do just that!  I say usually because last summer, I did a lot of sitting around on my computer.  I let things go and kind of went inside myself some.  I was dealing with some internal struggles over some external circumstances so I didn’t do summer like I normally do.  I have no doubts that I’ll do some sitting around on my computer this summer.  I look forward to that!  But I am so excited about life and the future that I can hardly contain it!

Bring it on!

This morning while Candied Jansen caught up on some sleep, I perused the internet.  I spent some time on Pinterest where I saw this quote.  It reminded me of some advice I received several years ago.  Basically that advice was that that there was no need to defend myself on the internet to people who didn’t know me anyway.  That wasting breath or energy trying to disprove what someone else said about me was futile, because in the end, it didn’t matter what strangers thought about me.  I could argue my side to try to make myself feel better, but in all honestly it wouldn’t make me feel better.  It would just drag out an already uncomfortable situation.  I chose to heed that advice, and I’m glad I did.  The situation eventually dissipated and I didn’t need to do a thing.  I love how this quote says it so well!

I also found this quote.  I LOVE it which is a good thing because it adds to the things I love!  Today I loved shopping at Sprouts with Candied Jansen and joking about how I couldn’t wait until we lived together because I was going to make all kinds of interesting things for her to eat.  We’d just seen some kangaroo meat and I wanted to try it, but I wasn’t willing to pay an unknown amount of money for a pound of ground kangaroo on a whim.  That got her to joking about how I was going to feed her unknown things and when she said, “you just ate turtle ass!” in that voice that mimics my excitement, I couldn’t stop laughing.  And I love that, too!

And finally this one.  Man that Abe Lincoln was a smart guy!